FAMILY FOUNDATION AND DESTINY FULFILLMENT

INTRODUCTION

No human existence without a family and marriage foundation.  Life on earth begins and ends with the family.  No matter how great, robust and bright your destiny had been planned and packaged before your arrival on earth it must pass through the family and marriage institution.  Family and marriage is one institution.  God came to establish His family on earth; so the moment someone gets married a new family is birthed. You were a product of a marriage and family; you are in the process of producing a new marriage and family too.  Your marriage should boost your destiny fulfilment, this is the divine order. However, your wrong approach to marriage will set your destiny fulfilment on path of collision or collapse.   How you can safeguard your marriage and family foundation as well as fulfil destiny is the target of this message.

SCRIPTURAL EXPOSITION

Job 4:19 - “How much more those who dwell in houses of clay, whose foundation is in the dust, who are crushed before a moth?”  Family and marriage of clay foundation lack strength and can be easily crushed or destroyed by little issues. 

Job 22:16 -“Who were cut down before their time, whose foundations were swept away by a flood?” Family and marriage foundation rushed or hurriedly laid can be destroyed by tough life challenges.

Psa. 87:1 -“His foundation is in the holy mountains.”  Family and marriage foundation should be laid on holy mountains of the Lord, it is safe there.

Prov. 10:25 -“When the whirlwind passes by, the wicked is no more, but the righteous has an everlasting foundation.”   Family and marriage started and sustained in righteousness has a firm, stable, strong and unbroken foundation.

Isa. 28:16 -“Therefore thus says the Lord GOD: "Behold, I lay in Zion a stone for a foundation, a tried stone, a precious cornerstone, a sure foundation; whoever believes will not act hastily.”  Jesus Christ is that Sure foundation, you need His tried and precious stone to build your future family and marriage. Three things you must do – a) Believe in Jesus Christ.  B) Build your marriage and family on His word and instructions. c) Blend to His kind of love and mind in handling your future marriage and family.

Isa. 48:13 -“Indeed My hand has laid the foundation of the earth, and My right hand has stretched out the heavens; when I call to them, they stand up together.”  The hand of God laid the foundation of this earth and it had remained unshaken, unbroken or swept away ever since created.  Why do Christian singles resist God’s hand in building their marital relationship?  God’s hand and your hand, which will build a family and marriage relationship that will stand the test of time and trials?  Who lied and deceived you that God resigned from choosing marital partners for His children who ask from him?  Who lied to you and against God that after Adam and Eve, God stopped(regret His action and changed His order) involving Himself in the choice of marital partners?  After Adam, God laid down His principles we must follow to choose a marital partner, maintain healthy relationships in the family, relationship with opposite sex, relationship with fellow human beings, choice of friends, employer and employee relationship, etc.

God has not ‘washed his hands’ from human relationships, especially the most important relationship in heaven and on earth – family and marriage.  You claim your life and destiny is in God’s hands, but when it comes to marriage you push God aside, neglect His words of instruction.  If this is true of you, then you are a ‘bad’ child – ungrateful, spoilt, and rebellious. If the hands which hold this world does not hold your future marriage and family from the beginning, you are ‘finished’, that is, the union is doomed before it starts.  

Luke 6:47-49 -"Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like: He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock. But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great."  If you want a family and marriage which is strong and permanent, your personal life and relationship with Jesus Christ must be rooted and grounded in His word.  Your personal spiritual life foundation must be solid on the Rock, Jesus Christ.  The two of you going into marital relationship must be spiritually sound in Christ, otherwise, one will be standing and the other partner crawling resulting in the marital union being unstable, dicey and anaemic (lacking spiritual vitality and strength).    

Luke 14:29 -"Lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him.”  When you build your future marriage and family on a wrong foundation, you give room for people and the devil to mock God, Jesus Christ, the church, your parents, and yourselves(husband/wife).

1 Tim. 6:19 -“Storing up for themselves a good foundation for the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.”  The choice to lay a good foundation for your future marriage and family lies with you and it begins today, even now.  What is a good foundation?  A good marriage and family foundation will earn you, your spouse and entire family eternal life in God’s Presence. This should be your goal; verify if the proposed partner has similar goal in mind.

Eph. 3:14,15 -“For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named.”  Will your future family and marriage be named, numbered and enlisted among God’s family on earth and in heaven?  The decision must be taken now, right in this place.  *God does not lack children but He will not want to miss you. * God does not lack godly marriages and families, but He will not want miss you and your family here on earth and in heaven.

WHAT IS FAMILY AND MARRIAGE FOUNDATION?

1. BY POSITION.  It is the position of the human beings in the nuclear family here on earth in relation with the Father of the heavenly family.  How do they respond to God the father?  Are they in right standing with God?  Are the redeemed through the blood of Jesus Christ? Gen. 7:1; Josh. 24:15

2. BY PURPOSE. It is the state of preparedness of the human family to give the right direction to all members and bring them under one eternal purpose with the heavenly family.  The earthly family must be an ally of and align with the heavenly family.

3. BY PERFORMANCE. It is the sustained efforts by the human family through approved activities to ensure all members from the beginning of life reach the desired goal set by the heavenly family.  Gen. 18:19; Isa. 44:28a.

THE IMPLICATIONS OF THE ABOVE DEFINITIONS –

a)  Family foundation is not a physical structure based on human materials, rather it is a spiritual structure knitted together by spiritual requirements.

b)  Family foundation is a spiritual force which receives its power from the Supreme Being controlling the universe, GOD THE FATHER, and not from deities in charge of territories.

c)  Family foundation is rooted in the spirit, soul and body of the family members which lives in them, lives with them, and lives beyond them, that is transferred unto their next generations.

d)  Family foundation is the pillar in which the behavioural patterns of a particular family unit are laid; the strength or inner abilities to deliver/actualise purpose/destiny and the marks which distinguish them from others are planted and nurtured.

e)  Family foundation is the pivotal for determining how the human beings can access and utilise all the resources, as well as obtain the full benefits of life here on earth.

f)  Family foundation is the beginning of human existence on earth, the root of life on earth, and the base on which your life is built.  If the beginning, root, or base is weak and corrupted, it spreads throughout your life time.

WHAT IS DESTINY?

All destinies originate from God; He is the planner of destiny.  Every human being, including you, came to earth to fulfil destiny no matter who you are, what you are and where you are located right now on earth.  Every human exists and works under two destiny platforms, namely –

1.  General destiny.  This destiny is the one pronounced by God from the beginning of creation, known as the divine mandate: “Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth." (Gen.28:26,28)

2.  Individual destiny.  This destiny is personalised and particularised to be accomplished at certain time and place, to achieve a specific purpose of God on earth.  You are not empty or useless but you are a vessel in God’s hand to fulfil destiny.

One of the purposes of the family and marriage is for the members to help, assist, and support one another in destiny fulfilment.  However, when the right foundation is not established, how can destiny be fulfilled?  Every human needs a lively, life-supportive and godly foundation for destiny fulfilment.

The greatest tragedy of life is to strive to fulfil destiny without God’s involvement, or outside God’s word and principles.  No matter the success you will attain in life outside God’s approved destiny, it is a waste of efforts and resources.  In the process of time many destinies had been hijacked, diverted from the original plan of God; some destinies are corrupted or destroyed completely.  Unfortunately, many persons and even Christians have lost their destiny to wrong marriage and family foundations.  The abattoir where some Christian singles ‘slaughter and butcher’, or lost and destroy their destinies is in ungodly, wrong, demonised marital relationship. 

BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF DESTINIES TRUNCATED BY MARITAL BLUNDERS

NAME	MARITAL  DECSION	CONSEQUENCES	SCRIPTURE
Adam and Eve	Lust of the eyes and disobeying God’s word	Lost the original endless life status. Driven from Garden of Eden. Death and hardship introduced on earth.	Gen. 3
Reuben	Lusted and had sex with his father’s wife.	He lost the position of and blessings of a firstborn.	Gen. 35:22; 49:3,4
Prince Schechem	He raped Dinah and abducted/forcefully wants to marry her.	He brought untimely death on his father, himself and all males in the kingdom.	Gen. 34
A man of Israel	He married an unbeliever	The camp of Israel was plagued and over 24,000 people died.	Numb. 25
Samson	He defiled himself as a Nazarene by lusting after unbelieving women who were harlots.	His mission or destiny on earth was blown out as he died untimely death.	Judges 14 - 16
Amnon	He lusted after his own sister and raped her.	He was killed by his own brother, the family of David was divided and filled with violence.	2 Sam. 13
King Solomon	He married large number of wives, including his enemies or unbelievers, who turned his heart from serving God.	The wisest king backslides from the faith; God angry with him and set division in the kingdom. He died a confused man.	1 King 11

FORCES THAT FIGHT AGAINST MARRIAGE

The most abused and attacked human institution on earth today is marriage and family. All satanic and human forces who hate this institution have turned the arsenals of warfare on those in family and marriage relationships.  Why is satan and other evil forces at war against the holy institution? The answer is simple, satan and his cohorts does not want God’s kingdom to be established on earth. (Matt. 6:10; 11:12) The evil powers are resisting the reign of God over humanity as well as blocking the human race from accomplishing the divine mandate. (Gen. 1:28) When destinies are not fulfilled, God’s name is not glorified on earth. Satan attacks marriage and families to have access to destroy the destinies of individuals, communities, countries, the church and generations.  Let us examine the atrocities satan inflicted on the first marriage and family.

1.  Separation of the couple from God.  Satan separated Adam and Eve from God and they became ‘naked’ or open to all sorts of evil and afflictions. How did it happen?  The couple disobeyed God’s instructions.  Satan painted God as being unfair, unjust and wicked to Adam and Eve, they foolishly bought his lies.  The first couple lost God’s presence, peace, power, protection and provisions; how can they fulfil destiny in the absence of these?

2.  Mistrust introduced to the marriage union and separated the couple.  The moment Adam and Eve sinned against God, the ‘one flesh’ was broken, while mistrust, doubt, suspicion, envy and jealousy entered the union.    The power of unity was shattered, the power of possibility was weaken, and above all the power of dominion taken away from them and entire humanity.  In the absence of these powers, destiny fulfilment is a hard nut to crack for any individual or group of persons.

3.   Hatred and bitterness introduced to the family and this led to broken relationship.  The firstborn of Adam and Eve, equally manifested the evil seed planted into his parents by satan; Cain developed hatred and bitterness for his blood brother and killed him. The family blood is already tainted, and it flowed down the human race till date.  From here comes the saying – A man’s enemies are members of his own family.  If your family is your primary enemy, how can you fulfil destiny?  The incident between Cain and Abel introduced a new set of curses into the family, which work against destiny fulfilment.  Note: Abel’s generation terminated; Cain’s generations lived a contaminated/cursed life – lost destinies!

The above, is a brief clips of what the devil caused the first marriage and family; since then the attacks on this divine and holy institution have grown wide and wile.

WARNING!   I lift my voice as a spiritual watchman raised by God for this generation to alert and awaken all Christian couples and singles of the grand plan from the satanic kingdom to eliminate the holy race.  By divine revelation and inspiration, I wrote an article titled: PRESERVING THE HOLY RACE.  If the present and future generations of Christians do not co-operate with the Holy Spirit to put restraint on this satanic plot, Christianity will be extinct or slump to the Dark Age in the next few centuries.  Christian singles must awake in the spirit and take serious the issue of their future marital and family life; and be vanguards of kingdom advancement.  The attack on God’s kingdom through the marriage and family is very real, Christian singles should rise to contend for the faith and preserve the holy race.  We belong to the HOLY RACE – Those whom God had called, saved, redeemed with the blood of Jesus Christ and adopted into the heavenly family as sons of the living God.  

Through study, one had rediscovered the true purpose of Christian marriage, different from what is administered to brides and grooms on wedding day.  The four cardinal purpose for Christian marriage are – (a) Procreation of the holy race;    (b) Propagation of the holy race; (c) Preservation of the holy race; and  (d) Perfecting the holy race.   We must go back to the original purpose of marriage, otherwise we are the enemies of the kingdom and collaborators with satanic forces fighting the holy race through marriage and family institution.

SOME WEAPONS USED IN FIGHTING MARRIAGES

Let us highlight some weapons used in attacking marriage as it affects the Christian singles and couples.

1.  Manipulation of the singles to make the wrong choice of a life partner.  Monitoring or familiar spirits have been deployed to lure singles into making wrong choice of life partners.   A miss-match in marriage is dangerous and detrimental to the fulfilment of destiny.  Gen. 6:1,2 – “Now it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born to them, that the sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves of all whom they chose.” The scenario in the above scripture reveals that God’s choice was jettison for personal choice. God was not consulted nor the spiritual life of the person a standard to follow in making choice of who to marry.  Carnal desire or lusts are relied upon and preferred these days.   Beauty mentioned in the above scripture represents physical attractiveness, academic or professional qualifications, social status, financial wellness, and luxurious living are the yardsticks for choosing a life partner. 

2.  False ‘doctrines’ or ‘culture’ on how to enter the marriage institution.  There are several satanic approaches the devil is selling to youths/singles in the society including Christian singles which are not the right path to enter marriage but are traps to enslave their souls and destinies. (a) Doctrine of ‘follow me stay’.  Two opposite sex just like themselves in the name of love, begin to live together under one roof and assuming to be husband and wife.  (b) Doctrine of friendship-boyfriend and girlfriend; manfriend and womanfriend. Two opposite sex, going into serious relationship in the name of love adventurers, and turning it into avenue for satisfying carnal lusts.  (c) Doctrine of Dating.  This bait had trapped many Christian singles and confused some others.  If the true intent is finding who to marry, by Christian standard it is a wrong approach because you are pushing God side in making choice of a life partner. However, dating has several unbiblical meanings to different people. Dating is not a Christian practise, nobody should paint it to look godly; do not be deceived.  It has the face similar to financial ‘networking’ business, with so many time-bomb promises. Be warned!  (d) Doctrine of premature courtship and prolonged courtship.  Many Christian youths/single who are in a hurry to awaken love when the time is not due or ripe fall into the trap of these ‘twin brothers’.  “I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the does of the field, Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.” (Song 2:7; cf Song 3:5; 8:4)  There is time for everything, including marriage; do not run ahead of God’s time for you.

3.  Promotion of false ‘marriages’ as an alternative to biblical marriage approved for mankind.  Satan has released from his scientific laboratory false marriages in to the world which is fast being accepted by different races, cultures and governments.  Some of the false marriages include but not limited to gay marriage(homosexual/lesbianism), single parenting, live-in partners without serious commitment, co-habitation, and marriage by agreement for a specific time then breaks up. The latest trend is self marriage out of self love. This new false marriage states that you can marry yourself, organise a self wedding and be joined to yourself.

4.  Fears created around the marriage institution.  This is another strategy of satan, by creating fearful situations around marriage to scare young ones/singles from following the right way into it.  For instance: * Fear of nobody to marry or scarcity of suitors. God has enough husbands and wives for you to marry.   * Fear of who to marry or not to marry.  Satan has painted terrible image of men or women to confuse the young ones not to venture into marriage.  * Fear of time to marry – time is running out; make anyhow choice without waiting for God.  *Fear of failed marriages as a result of high rate of divorce or broken courtships.  *Fear of falling into wrong partner or making wrong choice.  Marriage is by faith and not by fear or sight; know God and these fears will disappear.  Child of God, you are not saved to be enslaved by the spirit of fear.

5.  ‘Predators’ or agents of satan on mission to destroy the marriage institution.  Satan has commissioned his agents to infiltrate the assembly of the saints to marry brothers and sisters with the aim to pull them from the faith.  Muslims are already disguising themselves and marrying Christian sisters using the bait of money. Islam teaches their members to abduct Christian sisters, marry them by force and turn them to be muslims.  Hypocrites and pretenders are sitting in the front roll of churches or securing positions of service/leadership in order to trap unsuspecting genuine Christians into ‘unholy’ marriages. 

6.  Disrespect for the covenant of marriage.  Satan and evil men are making the covenant of marriage look very light and powerless(in the United States of America it has been watered down, even court judgement is stronger than the marital covenant).  The picture being created is that marriage covenant is bondage and slavery, as such couples should ignore it and live the way they feel or choose.  In most societies these days, marital covenant is termed old fashioned or modern slavery; you can jump into marriage in the morning and jump out by afternoon. It is a slap on Christian marriage; can Christian singles rise to correct and challenge this evil by marrying in godly way?  You can make the difference!

7.  Propagation of ‘false love’ or adulterated love relationships.  We live in a so-called ‘love world’; most media contents are centred on love stories, movies, drama series, documentary, comedy shows, soap operas, etc.  A new and strange orientation about love relationships among the married and singles are subtly inculcated into the minds of people, even Christians.  Beware of the shallow and ungodly marital standards being peddled by these media houses/channels; they are silently destroying sound Christian marriage and family values, under our watch. 

CONCLUSION

Psa. 11:3 -“If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?”

Who you are now may be reproduced in your future marriage and family.  What you are now can be represented in your future marriage and family.  Where you are now(the kind of marriage and family you are born into or living in), may be reflected in your future marriage and family.  Assess yourself base on these three premises and know what kind of foundation you are laying for your future marriage and family. 

Who are you right now – a son of God or Belial, a believer in Christ or an unbeliever in sheep clothing, child of obedience or disobedience, a heavenly citizen or  hell-bound citizen?

What are you now – a light or darkness, honest or deceitful, faithful or unstable character, righteous or ungodly, peaceable or troublemaker, hardworking or lazy/visionless, hopeful or fearful?

Where are you from – a faithful or unfaithful marriage, stable or separated family, united or divorced marriage, spiritually strong or weak family, legitimate or an illegitimate marriage?  What sin, sickness, evil habit or oppression is prevalent in your family?

Foundations have voice, they can speak or manifest immediately, after a while, later/long time, or at the tail end of your life for or against your marriage and family.  Identify your kind of foundation(strong, firm, stable, godly, or weak, evil, ungodly wrong), and address them urgently and thoroughly with the appropriate spiritual weapons.

LET US PRAY

1. If you are not saved, you are not safe to marry.  If you are a backslider, you are not safe for or to marry. O Lord, grant me salvation of my soul from sin, redeem me by the blood of Jesus Christ and restore my lost life to Your kingdom.

2.  Father, I repent from any wrong decision I have already made concerning my future marriage and family, grant me grace to follow the divine order from today.

3.  Father, I promise to involve You and follow your instructions when making decisions about my future marriage and family.

4.  O Lord my Father, grant the grace to lay a good foundation for my future marriage and family.

5.  My Father, I repent from the wrong relationship I have entered, grant me wisdom to disengage from it and wait for Your perfect will.

6.  O Lord my God, reveal to me the specific destiny and purpose You packaged for me from the beginning of my creation.

7.  Father, from today arrest and destroy all evil powers or their agents in human form seeking to prevent me from fulfilling my destiny.

8.  Lord, uproot and destroy inherited evil foundations which are already speaking or working in secret against my future marriage and family.

9.  Whatever seeds of fear satan has planted into my spirit and soul/mind about marriage and family, let them be uprooted now in the name of Jesus Christ.

10.  Father of all mercy, deliver me from the errors of Samson and King Solomon in the choice of my future life partner.

11.  Father, grant me the grace to wait on You till the right time and direct the person you ordained for my life to locate me at the appropriate time.

12.  O Lord my Father, from today, I promise to build my future marriage and family according to Bible pattern so that the holy race will be preserved and Your kingdom will advance here on earth through me.

About Author:  Pastor E. W. Asakpoku, is the Presiding Father of Family First Ministry; a family and marriage counselling, teaching and mentorship ministry, based in Warri, Delta State, Nigeria.  He and his wife, Deaconess Felicia O. Asakpoku, are committed to restoring Biblical order in families and marriages world-wide.  You can know more about this ministry by visiting their website: www.familyfirsstfoundation.com.ng You can contact them for counselling and ministration by E-mail: familyfirstoutreach406@gmail.com or by phone +234  7085998578, 09052962058.  Follow them on facebook by liking their page; www.facebook.com/familyfirstfoundationoutreach.

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