Unfortunately, not all emotions are created equal.
The most widely accepted emotion, happiness, is a
sign of confidence, security, and success, among other things. Even if we have
to “fake it till we make it”, we’ve been told expressing happiness is a sure
way of gaining close friends and admirers.
Fear is perhaps the most applicable emotion, as
everyone has felt it in some regard. We’ve all been scared of something before:
leaving a job, asking someone to marry us, confronting a friend about something
they did to upset you. And considering the daily fear mongering by mass media
outlets, fear makes a strong case for the most felt emotional sensation.
Anger, though rarely welcomed, is another emotion
many of us feel and practice daily. Be it in the midst of heavy traffic, at
your child for breaking a prized vase, or at an incompetent coworker, anger is,
again, widely accepted as a completely normal emotion.
Disgust is highly suggestive and, for the most part,
remains internalized but is still regularly felt. When disgust is expressed, in
most contexts, it’s usually accepted and sometimes agreeable.
Sadness, however, is in a league of it’s own, much
like in the new feature Pixar film Inside Out. Sadness seems to be alienated,
picked on, and persecuted when expressed fully. Outward expressions of sadness
such as droopiness of the body and face, slumping, and crying are considered
signs of weakness and insecurity. It’s unfair that our culture puts sadness in
such a tight box. It’s damaging, unhealthy, and downright unfair to the human
life experience.
People who aren’t afraid to express sadness, in
fact, are far more mentally healthy than those who suppress it. Here’s why:
They aren’t afraid of their emotions.
If you were overwhelmed with joy, would you hide a
smile? If you saw the innards of a squished squirrel while running or biking on
the side of the road, would you not grimace? If you had an awful day at work
and your unemployed roommate drank your last ice cold beer that you’d been
looking forward to all day, would you not be pissed off? If you were trying to
find a light switch and didn’t think that your boyfriend was in the room,
lurking, waiting to scare you thinking it would be funny, would you not be
terrified when he jumped towards you and yelled?
So if you’re sad, why wouldn’t you cry? Why wouldn’t
you slump around? Why wouldn’t you give yourself the right to be sad?
People who ignore sadness cheat themselves out of an
important facet of life. Sadness, or crying, isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a
sign that you’re a human and have feelings beyond what you’re told is
appropriate to show in public.
They understand the healing properties of tears.
Much like a spit valve releases saliva from a
trumpet, your tear ducts releases stress, anxiety, grief, and frustration from
your brain and body. It’s soul cleansing, mind enriching, and goosebump
inducing, almost acting as a drain for the buildup of negative emotions that
result from stress. The healing properties of tears aren’t just restricted to
sad tears, either, but happy tears as well. In either case you’re dealing with
extreme emotion. Allowing that extreme emotion to back up and stay in the body
can be very dangerous both physically and mentally.
Beyond improving move and reliving stress, crying,
specifically tears, have scientific benefit because they release toxins, help
improve vision, and can kill 90 to 95 percent of all bacteria in just five to
10 minutes.
They know how therapeutic crying can be.
Recent psychological studies have determined that
crying stimulates our brain’s endorphin release, the “feel-good” hormones that
also act as a natural pain killer. Crying also lowers manganese levels, a
chemical that, when overexposed to, can exasperate the brain and body.
Even though the problem may still persist after
you’ve cried it out, there’s no doubt that the act of crying allows for an
overall release of bad emotion even if momentarily. This allows us to think
clearer about the problem and not be so overwhelmed by it.
They don’t care about gender roles or societal
expectation.
Crying is stigmatized for both sexes. If she cries
it’s because she’s unstable or a wreck or, the most delusional conclusion,
needs attention from others. If he cries, he’s a pansy, a wuss, or, my personal
favorite, not manly enough. All of these generalizations encourage both sexes
to submerge their sadness to the depths of their soul.
Though it’s an uphill battle that can only be won an
inch at a time, we’re working tirelessly to break down social constraints that
hang heavy over both sexes. Those who allow themselves to be sad in public are
not only brave, but also activists for an emotionally healthier society.
They invite others to not run from their feelings.
I like to cry. Or rather, I don’t let myself not be
sad when I feel sadness. We are all working to overcome some sort of depressing
demon that’s trying to tear us down. When we allow ourselves to feel pain when
we feel it, we’re also encouraging others, either people we already know or
not, to connect with our pain. To know that you’re not alone in thinking,
feeling, or even acting a certain way is emotionally liberating and, in extreme
cases, life saving.
Those who accept sadness when it stares them in the
face allow others to do the same. Recalling the previous point, it’s dangerous
when we keep emotions hidden and buried within. Since sadness has negative
associations, we often won’t reach out to someone we notice is experiencing
difficulty because we’re afraid, not of the person necessarily but of the act
of being deeply upset.
When we’re honest to our bodies, we allow it to
perpetually run at maximum capacity, even when we’re experiencing tremendous
pain.
We’ve been seriously discussing good mental health
practices for years now. With the dawn of therapy and heavily prescribed feel-good
medications, we should all be more appreciative of our biological ability to
cry and take full advantage of the natural anxiety-reliever it is.
Because crying shouldn’t be perceived as a sign of
weakness, but a sign of internal strength and mindfulness.
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